I would have been happy to stay your friend. I wanted to stay your friend. It was unimaginable to me to not keep you in my life. I didn’t know how to just stop loving you the way you stopped loving me.
But you made it impossible. You kept breaking my heart over and over again. You’d take me to the edge only to pull me back with words of love and kindness. And I believed them because it was easier than believing they were lies.
But every person has their breaking point. I remember mine so clearly. There was this strange intermix of complete devastation and shining hope. Because while I fully understood the you that I knew and loved was gone, I was also aware that I was now free. I could move on from you.
Now, years later, you still show up from time to time. Usually because you want me to know about your latest love or a new job or something else that will prove how great things are without me. And that’s fine. But just know I feel sorry for you because I know you haven’t changed. And I know if you were really happy, you wouldn’t have to prove it to me.
You should know, I’m happy. You didn’t ruin me. I survived you and I became better. I have the kind of life I don’t need to brag about, because it speaks for itself.
Remember that the next time you pop into my life. Remember that you could have remained a part of all this. We could have been friends. But we’re not, and that’s something you have to live with. Not me.
